The Next Stop

I'm actually contemplating on not going to tomorrow's marathon now... I don't like knowing behind peoples' back like that. I hate pretending like I don't know anything, it makes it hard to act normal when I'm around them. They've become a bigger part of my life because I see them on a fairly regularly basis.. and the fact that I can't confide to my best friend, I feel like I'm all alone in this. Well that's not true I guess... I still have him as this is our problem now, but I don't want to disappoint anyone :'( I really need a hug right now :(