I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through this year. Last year. My concentration levels have already deteriorated to practically nothing, I'm stressed over things I shouldn't be thinking about... I really wanted to cry in class because I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I can barely talk to my friends anymore, it seems like too much effort when no one would really listen... I must have missed out on heaps during the time I spent working, I feel as if everyone grew closer and I'm further apart than ever. Or I guess maybe it's just me, my inability to fully trust anyone and have a close friendship. Why the hell did I turn out like this? I hate it when I start hating life, I hate it when I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything... Why can't I just be happy? Life is starting to repeat itself, almost like the time in Yr12 when I felt so empty. I really want to travel. Wouldn't it be nice to leave everything behind and start anew?
-Edit-
Maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic. I can't really tell. But I hope these lingering thoughts will leave me soon so I can get on with my life.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Hey guys :) Sorry for the lack of posts, last few weeks I've been feeling down, so I haven't been as active as I've wanted to be. Instead I've taken to creating mental entries, so that my blog won't turn back into some sort of depressing outlet. But anyway, I'm more or less back, so hopefully there will be something to look forward to in my future posts! ^____^
But lately I've just been watching stuff- mainly a korean variety show called Running Man, but I've already caught up to it D: It's super funny >___< Seriously makes me want to go to South Korea and see the cast X'D ~~~ Hmm what else... hmm well I've also watched City Hunter and working on One Piece. Around 100 eps in now :P Currently folding stars while I've been watching One Piece ><" Seriously... folding stars has become a habit I think :/ I have too many stars. I actually kind of want to give away one of my jar of stars (partly cos the colours are everywhere ><" ocd?) Would anyone want it?
Lately I've also been collecting images of crafty stuff that I want to make. Let me just go find some examples..
I went out and bought wool for this. A little worried that it's not going to turn out to be the right colour... mine looks more of a baby blue..:/
Not quite crafty, but I like to paint my nails >.>
OMG when I saw this. Look at the soot! God I have to learn how to make such awesome things~!
Heheh then I'll make an army of angry birds and throw them at people >____<
Hehe pascal!! Looks kinda hard to make though D: I can see a lot of mistakes ahead...
Hehe I can totally do this :P Also have the mushroom tin as well :P Woooot~~~
But yes, I really want to get around doing all these things, even though it's quite... useless, but it's always fun when you see the final outcome ^_^ Before I do that, I must finish some of my cross stitching, I really want to start doing this clock one... well you'll see when I get around to it :P
But yes, enough spamming for one night. Night~
But lately I've just been watching stuff- mainly a korean variety show called Running Man, but I've already caught up to it D: It's super funny >___< Seriously makes me want to go to South Korea and see the cast X'D ~~~ Hmm what else... hmm well I've also watched City Hunter and working on One Piece. Around 100 eps in now :P Currently folding stars while I've been watching One Piece ><" Seriously... folding stars has become a habit I think :/ I have too many stars. I actually kind of want to give away one of my jar of stars (partly cos the colours are everywhere ><" ocd?) Would anyone want it?
Lately I've also been collecting images of crafty stuff that I want to make. Let me just go find some examples..
I went out and bought wool for this. A little worried that it's not going to turn out to be the right colour... mine looks more of a baby blue..:/
Not quite crafty, but I like to paint my nails >.>
OMG when I saw this. Look at the soot! God I have to learn how to make such awesome things~!
Heheh then I'll make an army of angry birds and throw them at people >____<
Hehe pascal!! Looks kinda hard to make though D: I can see a lot of mistakes ahead...
Hehe I can totally do this :P Also have the mushroom tin as well :P Woooot~~~But yes, I really want to get around doing all these things, even though it's quite... useless, but it's always fun when you see the final outcome ^_^ Before I do that, I must finish some of my cross stitching, I really want to start doing this clock one... well you'll see when I get around to it :P
But yes, enough spamming for one night. Night~
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
OMG why can't you just leave me alone??! Seriously... I'm actually getting really annoyed with this guy. Why the hell did I promise I'd see a movie with him?? One reason why I haven't logged onto skype is because I don't want to talk to him! He seems more and more desperate now and it's really getting on my nerves. Does not help that I've been annoyed all week -_______-
Friday, February 10, 2012
To be honest... the shopping online hasn't completely faded away yet... ^^" I still browse start nearly daily, can't help but want things. I'm so materialistic ><" I've been looking at some clothes, and I saw this cute jumper, except then I saw the Chinglish on it =.=" I hate it when clothes are ruined by the lame Chinglish on clothing. It'd be fine if I were in China or something, but here in Australia, people would laugh -.- But other than clothes, I've been looking up books and stuff that has nostalgic value to me. Like recently I've been trying to buy the Teen Power Inc. books by Emily Rodda. Sorta hard to find, at least the original print. And there were more than 30 books I think? I've only read about 10 or more I think. Remember trying to find the whole series in Junior school, but having no luck =/
Also been buying games, at least, all the good games I've once played before/don't own. So now I own all of the Phoenix Wright series, they just have yet to arrive >_<" This is slowly becoming a problem, because I still haven't been paid yet/mum still owes me my money, so I really should hold off spending all my money online. Damn I'm becoming one of those online shopaholics o.O
Tomorrow is the Japanese Summer festival. I'm supposed to be going with a bunch of my friends, except I kind of don't want to go now. 1- weather is looking bad, and I don't want to make an effort to go all the way to the Docklands if I'm going to get rained on. 2- I sort of don't want to be in the company with my friends atm... seeing as two of them are dating now, and the other one likes me(still. I think), I just don't really like that atmosphere.
Next week there's a party for 4 of my uni friends, who don't really know the couple are going out, basically, nothing that's been going on these holidays. Honestly, I don't want to go to that either. I just feel like avoiding my uni friends for a while.. I'm really craving some girl company. Since my friend started her relationship, she's more or less abandoned our friendship. At least it feels like it. Admittedly, it is partly my fault because I've been busy working over the holidays. But I mean, we used to talk every night on Skype before that, but now, either I don't talk to her, or if I am, she's slow to reply cos she's talking to the other guys or she makes time for her bf again =.= Atm they're inseparable, she almost weekly stays over at his, days at a time, you'd think you'd want some time alone at some point?
So over the next few weeks, I think I'd rather spend some time with school friends. If anyone is up for it, just let me know, and we can do something :) I'm getting a bit sick of staying at home when I'm not motivated enough to do anything. So yes. Also, any of you guys are free to come over if you want as well. Anything. Seriously.
Also been buying games, at least, all the good games I've once played before/don't own. So now I own all of the Phoenix Wright series, they just have yet to arrive >_<" This is slowly becoming a problem, because I still haven't been paid yet/mum still owes me my money, so I really should hold off spending all my money online. Damn I'm becoming one of those online shopaholics o.O
Tomorrow is the Japanese Summer festival. I'm supposed to be going with a bunch of my friends, except I kind of don't want to go now. 1- weather is looking bad, and I don't want to make an effort to go all the way to the Docklands if I'm going to get rained on. 2- I sort of don't want to be in the company with my friends atm... seeing as two of them are dating now, and the other one likes me(still. I think), I just don't really like that atmosphere.
Next week there's a party for 4 of my uni friends, who don't really know the couple are going out, basically, nothing that's been going on these holidays. Honestly, I don't want to go to that either. I just feel like avoiding my uni friends for a while.. I'm really craving some girl company. Since my friend started her relationship, she's more or less abandoned our friendship. At least it feels like it. Admittedly, it is partly my fault because I've been busy working over the holidays. But I mean, we used to talk every night on Skype before that, but now, either I don't talk to her, or if I am, she's slow to reply cos she's talking to the other guys or she makes time for her bf again =.= Atm they're inseparable, she almost weekly stays over at his, days at a time, you'd think you'd want some time alone at some point?
So over the next few weeks, I think I'd rather spend some time with school friends. If anyone is up for it, just let me know, and we can do something :) I'm getting a bit sick of staying at home when I'm not motivated enough to do anything. So yes. Also, any of you guys are free to come over if you want as well. Anything. Seriously.
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