Woah blogspot O.o

Crazy new interface? Hmm. Well. Update on what's been happening. So I think pretty much everyone knows >.> Our plan to keep it secret for a while was kind of a fail ><" Didn't even last a week. The only people who don't know are the people in our class I guess... will be interesting how that turns out :O
I still feel extremely bad about the other guys though... apparently one of them went to talk to my bestie... T_T Honestly can't believe why any of the guys would like me... And the other guy caught us leaning on each other holding hands while watching Dr Horrible at my friend's house..I can tell he was shocked but he played it really well like he didn't care... But you could tell he was acting differently, cos he was pretty quiet for a while and I assume he was pretending to sleep in that chair... I don't think I deserve any of their attention, especially if something like this happens. I miss school T_T Never had to worry about boys because there weren't any guys around in my life... But I guess I'm glad it's out in the open now (well family doesn't know yet, and don't plan to tell them anytime soon >.>) so hopefully things will be better from now on. Just an hour ago, he stopped by (courtesy to my other friend acting as a chaffeur^^") so he could get some cupcakes that I baked x'D Hopefully they'll like it. >.> Oh well, back to being a project manager.... TT____TT

Soooo... we decided to make it official ^_^" Well, at least said that to each other. We're not going to go around parading that information around, like on facebook for example. He doesn't like the idea of that anyway ><" I'm fine with it either way, it's not like I need people suddenly taking an interest in my love life all a sudden >.> And having to deal with all the questions... D: So yeah, I guess we're official since 12.09am 19th April, 2012 x'D Hahah. There are still a few problems that have me a little worried, but hopefully things will pan out eventually. We decided this after our first date yesterday, where we had lunch in the CBD, went to a Games Festival at ACMI which had some pretty cool games (currently trying to acquire some of them now xD) and then we just walked for a bit and eventually I showed him Minotaur. Overall it was a pretty good first date I reckon, still felt a little bit awkward when we didn't know what to talk about.. ><" Totally need advice on what to talk about >_<"

Tomorrow my dad will be leaving for China TT________TT Really, really sad. He'll be gone for 2 months, which means I'll be stuck with the rest of family, all girls for 2 whole months T___T Especially grandma... oh god. Hopefully she will be more manageable.. highly doubt it. Well she'll be going as soon as my dad returns I think? So hopefully she'll be happier back in China. She should be. I don't think being old should give you the right to complain about every little thing that doesn't even concern you... we've told her to just relax and not worry about every little thing, but she just likes to take it upon herself to be nosy and make it her business. I wonder if she'll be coming back after a few months? It's not like I hate my grandma, I just find her very difficult to deal with because she can't let things go unless it goes according her way. =___=

^_^ Well my project seemed alright apparently judging by the class' reaction. Still not too sure, because the teacher didn't really show much of a reaction I think, or rather I didn't really look at him when he was watching it ^^" But I think it did alright...maybe? Ahhh I want my marks back now xD

So today, our group of friends were just hanging, and afterwards Jasper and I kind of headed back to his place. Oh I forgot to mention- 2 people found out, and confronted me yesterday ^^" Which is really, really not what I wanted. Urgh I blame Jasper. >.> He sucks at acting. But yes, one of the guys who supposedly likes me asked, and my bestie asked. But yes, after we separated after lunch, we headed back to his place, you could see those two kind of giving off those looks...awkward as. I told Jasper I shouldn't cos it'd be too obvious but.. =.=" But yes, when we got to his place, we didn't do anything really, just talked. A lot better now because I always kind of found it awkward to talk to him ^^" But really awkward thing happened- I was kind of hugging him, and his twin bro came in ^.^" Lol we split so fast. You could tell he knew something was up, and it was this awkward pause thing.. oh god just reliving it is so embarrassing >___<" He was the one who had issues with friends hooking up with friends so I dunno... Don't really know him that much really ^^" I only really know about his work, but don't know anything else about him... I always thought he was quite an interesting person, but hard to analyse.
But yes, I left after watching a few youtube videos. Some weird guy called Keith- basically doing some dances... um let me see if I can find it...
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLFD1E8B0910A73A12&feature=plcp
So take your pick. But yeah, pretty much left after that. Will be interesting how tomorrow will be... I don't want to go through all those "subtle" nudges and stuff. Which is one reason why I didn't want people to find out soon... I didn't want to deal with the pressure of other people's expectations.. it kind of just makes it harder for me to know what I want really... anyway, I'll see how it goes for now..

Last night I finished my graphics in motion project. Burned the dvds, so it's done. It's definitely not what I hoped it'd turn out T____T Sure, I might have moved beyond the tutorials a bit, but in terms of visual interest, it doesn't flow right. Especially the swirls into the audio part. I'll upload it next time when I can be bothered converting it to something smaller... But it really was quite a fail. Actually, I'll just upload it now for you to see... just to show. Will probably delete it at the end of the week on the off chance someone would even think of using it >.>

-video removed-


But I guess mine was pretty experimental, at least for me, because I usually attempt things that make sense, not just random shapes doing stuff. I'm hoping it won't do too bad though, it was a 'risk' after all. What I mean by 'risk' is that it was something different, because our teacher had this whole talk about 'risk'. Lol my video ended up straying away from the original storyboard, well mainly the middle part. Partly because I wasn't capable of producing what I set out to do, so I just looked up various tutorials to fill in the blanks. >__<"
Lol.. finally finished loading the vid... internet seems to be really crappy atm >.>

Yesterday was amazing~~\(^----------^)/ Thank you Caity for inviting me to MSO concert!!! Was the best x'D I felt like I didn't deserve it because I couldn't appreciate it on the same level as game enthusiasts, but it was still pretty damn spectacular >____< So. Many. People. Apparently around 5500 people? Heheh Caity and I spotted this awesome guy with a top hat, monocle, full on suit, with an awesome moustache. The kind that is twirled upwards on the ends >__< MSO played a lot of music from series I wasn't so familiar with, although heard of. Bioshock, Uncharted, God of War, World of Warcraft, Assassin's Creed, Soul Calibur (lol 5 pieces from that series?), Civilisation, Final Fantasy 7, Diablo 3, hmm what else... Well there were a few more others that I can't remember, which would have been great reason for them to have programs =.=" We had pretty amazing seats as well, in the centre with an aisle in front of us, so we could see the tech people working as well.
At some stage, they had a live tournament between two finalists for Soul Calibur, while the orchestra played and in front of a large audience. Talk about nerve wracking O.o It was kind of hard to watch for some of it, as you watched the other guy get thrashed ^^" In the end he managed to score once, so final score was 3-1. Still pretty intense, you could hear all the ooohing and ahhing ><
Hahah one of favourite parts was when they played FFVII- in the corner of my eye, I could see Caity tapping her finger away in time with the music >___<" Heheh someone was fangirling :P
Another was when we were watching footage from Soul Caliber, there was this guy who looked a lot like the moustache guy x'D Hahah we were both laughing x'D But man, overall it was such a great night^_____^ Seriously, thank you so much Caity!!!!!

Currently around 4 in the morning, and I've just woken up, still feeling stressed about. We've barely begun, not even a date, and we're already facing an obstacle/s. We had to decide last night that we shouldn't do some stuff. And what I mean by that is i shouldn't text him to open the door for me, or have him ask jack if he is picking me up today. I really want to sleep, but I'm having trouble. I need some sort of advice :(

I'm actually contemplating on not going to tomorrow's marathon now... I don't like knowing behind peoples' back like that. I hate pretending like I don't know anything, it makes it hard to act normal when I'm around them. They've become a bigger part of my life because I see them on a fairly regularly basis.. and the fact that I can't confide to my best friend, I feel like I'm all alone in this. Well that's not true I guess... I still have him as this is our problem now, but I don't want to disappoint anyone :'( I really need a hug right now :(

FUCK. Ok, so it turns out he also liked me as well. The other dude. So my intuition was correct then... oh god, how'd this happen?? I'm hoping he doesn't confess or anything as well, or else this will be REALLY awkward. Not in a mean way. Coz I like him, but just as a friend. I noticed he started texting me around the same time as when Jasper (the guy I'm with) started to text me as well... And more recently, he started adding hearts to some of his texts... I was hoping it was just some sort of affectionate thing to show that he trusted me more cos we've gotten closer =/ So two of them liking me while I go out with the other... We've decided not to mention it to anyone yet...I'm just wondering how I'll hold off if they make any advances on me.. Hopefully the other two will get over their crush or find someone else... :S I'm seriously hoping this won't affect any of my friendships. :S:S Why does my life feel so dramatic all the time? TT_____TT

Ok, so I was just going through some of my older posts... I don't really think I've changed since gaiaonline ^^" In most cases, I kind of enjoy reading what I've written, I can still imagine how I felt when I wrote some of the entries. ><" I don't know about you guys though. And I am so so sorry for being such a whiny b****. I don't think that will change anytime soon. ^^" But thank you for putting up with me for the last few years... it's been a good 3/4 years now ^_____^ I hope you guys won't get tired of what I have to say for the next few years! ^^

Lol currently, I'm tempted to lock my blog in fear of people finding it ><" I just mentioned that I had one to him, and he was curious ><" Lol as if in hell I'd show him! x'D considering what my last post was >____< But no, this blog was specifically designed for you guys from school, so you can know about me despite not seeing each other often. If I did lock it, how many of you guys actually read this crap? Cos then I'd need your email addresses to invite you to view my blog... extra hassle for you guys, as that would mean you'd have to log in to view it. ^^" Doesn't mean I will lock it, but if there was any chance of people finding it, I would have to lock this thing xD

^___________^ He asked me out >_<" The one I've had a crush on for a while... I said yes :P We've really been staying up late for the last week texting each other ^^" I sort of... well led the convo into that direction :P I mentioned how I've never been on a date before, and he said he'd take me on one ^__^ Really cute because he said he was blushing >< I'm wondering how this will all work out... we decided we'll keep it a secret for now and deal with problems later.. (mainly the dude who has a crush on me... T_T). I dunno if he's the best guy for me, but for now, I think I'll just go with the flow. ^^

I'm either really full of myself, or there are people out there who actually like me. I'm kind of worried about the attention I'm getting now... >.> if by any chance, the guys actually do like me... well I don't know how I'd deal with that. I mean, one of them waited to text me saying good morning...? Apparently I helped brighten up his mood coz he's been down for the last few weeks? Which honestly, I don't think I was ever capable of O.o And then there's the other guy, who I've recently been watching stuff with over Skype late into the night.... Then there's his brother, lol, I doubt he likes me, but he likes to show me all his work ^^" Hahah maybe because I always shower him with compliments xD Then there's the other guy who confessed to me last year... You guys are probably thinking "man, she's so full of herself..." which I probably am, at least I feel like it at the moment. But this is the first time in my life where I feel remotely desirable by the opposite sex >.> From not talking/no contact with guys for about 7 whole years since moving to IGGS, to then be put into an environment where there are guys... well I guess I really haven't matured at all if I'm still acting like a school girl ^^" I hate it because then I end up over thinking these things (if you can't tell already =.=") when I really actually want to be concentrating on my uni life. That was my original goal actually. Do the whole love relationship thing after uni. Seriously though, did I do something recently to deserve all of this? Can't tell if it's a good or a bad thing...

It's so weird...><" I feel like I'm getting showered with attention by all the guys in my group atm... feels a lil suss to be honest.... >.>

Conflicted with emotions

I don't know... I've been slacking with blogging because I really don't know what to say. I'm having trouble organising my thoughts, as every little thing pops into my head begging for attention. Last post was about my sitting... Well that went rather...slow. A total of 12 people visited, 13 including a baby. A total of 3 people watched my group's film, which is a pity as majority kind of walked out because of two other films (one got a lil weird, and the other one is just some guy standing while photoshoot lights are flashing). So yes very disappointing. Well I didn't expect many people in the first place, but was hoping there'd be more people to keep me distracted.

Hmm so what else? Been overly stressed about my assignments because of all the missed classes (because the teacher didn't come for 3 weeks in a row =.=") so we all got an extension, but this bites into the time we'll use for our other projects. And we're already on a tight schedule =/ So basically, I've barely learnt any after effects from my classes, only a few things which haven't completely stuck because the teacher went through the tutorial like the speed of light. So needless to say, I've been doing my own research into tutorials and such >.>

I guess another thing I've recently been thinking about is... well guys >.> The guy I had a crush on around last year has sort of gotten close to me within the last few days. I don't really know how to act, I guess I'm still attracted to him but... well I feel guilty. The fact that we're friends, and that the dude that had a crush on me is also friends with him... and he asked me out not to long ago again to watch a movie with gold class movie vouchers... and I said I'd be busy all March... and then I end up watching a movie with the group on the very last day of March... So I sort of feel like I'm stepping all over his sincerity T_T How do I deal with such a situation? I kind of want to avoid everything again and just climb into a hole and wait for everything to blow over.