Questions part II

4. List 10 5 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
- Try harder to socialise more and make your parents drive you around to parties. It's not easy to keep friends after finishing school so make the most of it.
- Talk to your family more rather than distancing yourself and trying to escape. Talk to mum more and tell her to stop gambling. It's not fair how everyone treats you, but be the bigger person because I know you can handle it.
- Try thinking about what you want more. Keep doing things and keep being active. You won't get a chance to be this free, do things with friends, have fun and actually live life rather than let it pass you by.
- Start looking for jobs. If mum is still taking your youth allowance, be firm. One day you'll want to travel, but you won't have the means to if you have no income. And you would a lot better off than other people who don't have any experience.
- You're capable of doing things, but you're lazy. Get your life sorted because it's just going to drag on and you won't know what you want in life till it's too late. Push yourself, and like I said before, think about what you want.

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
- Having someone I love.
- Having good friends that I can hang with once in a while.
- Streetpasses >_>
- The thought of going on a holiday even though it's just to Victor Harbour.
- The possibility of moving out with some really good friends next year.

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
It's a bit hard to pinpoint the hardest experience in my life as a lot of it has happened later in life. I think around Yr 10- First year of uni was the hardest stage of my life though. I'm pretty sure I was going through some sort of depression at the start of that period, and it was really hard to push myself to be  social. I started to feel a bit more reclusive and I was more or less just trying to stay on track and dealing with family. I only really started to feel happy when I started uni cos it was a fresh start, although the fiasco with my sister ruined it a bit for me and I felt a bit depressed again. I've sort of moved on but I feel like the dynamic with my family has changed considerably within the last couple of years and will never be the same.


7. What is your dream job, and why?
Dream job? I've never really wanted to work because it's never been my passion to begin with. I would actually like to have a housewife kind of lifestyle despite the ideals of modern society. I don't care what feminism says about that, but if it's what I want it shouldn't matter. Once upon a time I would have said perhaps being an animator, but my passion was never really in it. Because I never pushed myself when I was younger, I feel like I would have to invest most of my time to make up all the years I've wasted. And I guess my passion is just not strong enough for that. I have no choice really either way, I'll have to get a proper job some time down the road because it's expected of me..2


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8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Questionsss part I

1. List 20 10 random facts about yourself.
-I like sleeping flat on my stomach
-I'm a lot more girly than I was in school ie. I find it fun wearing make up and dressing up
-I probably like to reminisce a lot more than I should admit
-I'm constantly just going with the flow in life, with no goal other than to travel someday.
-I really like to sing, although sometimes I feel I can't do that nowadays because I live in such a small room
-One of my favourite disney movies is Hunchback of Notre Dame. I really like the songs.
-I probably ebay way too much than I should. But bargains!
-I love having dreams. Just last night I dreamt I was in a car that was driving on these big tracks, and the car drove up a very steep hill, almost vertical- and the car eventually started rolling backwards and did a back flip and landed on the tracks again and started climbing up and down like a rollercoaster. Was a thrilling dream.
-I never really sweared much at school but nowadays I'm more open to doing it, although I refrain when I can because those words always sound so harsh and foreign when I say it.
-I have the worst memory T_T

2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
-If I'm feeling a little bit spooked, I get really scared if I look into the mirror in the dark or see a big shadow cos I feel like something will start moving and be out to get me D: Just story of bloody mary that brought that on I think.
-Dropping any type of screen (ds, phone etc) this probably doesn't count as a legitimate fear but there is that heart stopping moment when you watch it fall and you can't react fast enough.
-Losing any of my possessions even if it's something as small as a box of mints etc. I don't know why I get so panicked over losing stuff, but my heart stops and starts beating really fast till I find what I was looking for, or I accept that I won't be able to find it.

3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
A bit hard to describe... Things have changed so much over a couple of years. Lots of hardships down the track, but since moving out, I think it's helped me feel less pressured into thinking that I have to look after my family financially etc. I wouldn't call it just amicable, maybe something a bit more than that, but still, I feel like because I've moved on, things just feel so different now.
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These will be for later, cos it took me so long to type the above. But better than nothing. :P


4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

I think I'm near that point in life when I just really want to move on with my life already. My job is such a life drainer, what little energy I have is used to sound enthusiastic to get me through the countless rejections from people all across Australia... It sort of saddens me to think that there are so many people who hate me for what I do; I mean I know they don't hate me specifically, but they have no where else to direct their anger so someone has to bear the brunt. I really do want to move on and get a proper job, but I don't have that enthusiasm to start my own projects etc. to be able to apply for a job. I'm a little scared that I'll end up stuck in the call centre, because there are a lot of people who work who have stayed on for several years and counting. I really don't want to be them. I don't know how they've managed to stay on so long- I don't know how I've managed so far. But I'm really think I need to step up my game. Jasper isn't any better than me either, we're both just stuck in a rut.
There are so many things I want to do; first and foremost, I of course want to be traveling, but after that I really want to be able to move out to a better place. After that, I think I'll feel less cluttered about my life and be willing to look for a proper job.

I'm really looking forward to December though, I'll be on holiday for a week at least in Victor Harbour, which I'm just longing for at the moment. And Jasper's friend has invited us to stay over at their parents villa in Thailand somewhere, which looks amazing. I'm willing to go, but I guess the problem is if Jasper can afford it. I think he tried convincing his mum to pay for it as a birthday/christmas thing, but that didn't work out... Well who knows. It would be sometime early next year though, so I'm still hoping >__<

Well I'll just leave it at that for now cos I have work in an hour :( Hopefully today's shift will go fast..

Ok so I forgot to post when I said I would. But making a post now to make up for it. Plenty of things have happened since I last posted (before the most recent one). I can only remember stuff from this month so...

 My birthday. Had a great day out at the Melbourne Zoo with Jasper, it was my wish to go there for my birthday cos it's something that I've wanted to do for a while. It was great weather, the sun was out, the animals were cute... favourite part of the zoo was and always will be the butterfly sanctuary. A few butterflies landed on me and it made me feel special inside cos they didn't seem to land on other people:) I like to think, or pretend that I'm good with animals hahah ^^; Pretty much spent a good solid 3 hrs walking around the zoo- it's sooo big! Didn't even manage to see everything and they were about to close the zoo too :( Oh well. But after that, we left and headed back into the city to have frozen yoghurt, talked for a bit, headed back to Melb central and ordered a drink before going to Grill'd for dinner. It was a long day, but it was a great day. I love the feeling of being able to just keep myself busy the whole day like that, it makes life so interesting and enjoyable... it's a real pity that we can't just stop and enjoy life like that :(

 I'll just skip to more recent stuff now... Last weekend, went to watch the movie Elysium with a group of uni friends. It was pretty good, a lot better than I was expecting. I loved all the gruesome scenes, they're always fun to watch. After that movie, we all pretty much scattered except for Arend. I had planned on buying a pillow in the city, but we decided that'd we'd try looking along Chapel st to see if they sold any. Turns out there weren't any. We ended up far away from the station, and Jasp said that we should hang out at Arends. Which we ended up doing ><" So basically we crashed his place unprepared (that's something I don't like doing cos I don't have any of my things with me and I just feel ick). Buuuut it was a fun night, we watched the recent movie with the word 'end' in it, I forget what it's called (the one with Seth Rogen in it) which was weird but kind of cool how they all played themselves in the movie. We also played Catherine, a puzzle game which is weirdly intriguing. A lot of it is cutscenes so it felt like watching an anime, but once the night 'ends' the main character is thrown into a nightmare where he basically has to climb over blocks to pass the level. It sounds kind of boring, but the intensity of climbing those blocks really can get your heart racing >< Jasper and I want to go back to Arend's, hopefully this weekend so we can finish the game as we're not too far off it but don't know if that'll work out.

 Sooo on Monday, Jasp and I went on a date to the Melb Show cos I wanted to :P Something about me and just reliving the past :/ But it was still awesome, so much stuff going on all around :D But lol first thing we did when we walked in was head to the wood chopping. Not intentionally, but somehow we ended watching the guys chopping wood for a couple of rounds. After that we walked around a lot, we didn't end up going on any of the rides (I can't do the spinny ones, so that rules out more than half of the rides) but we played one game so we could get a Finn plush. Was actually not that exciting of a game, Jasp regrets spending 10 bucks on playing it cos you're basically fishing out mini balls out of the water to get as many points as you can. So yeah pretty boring game. We walked around a lot, looked at a lot of the free stuff (animals, galleries etc) and also went through all the stalls that were around the place. Free samples nearly everywhere :D:D We ended up buying some fudge and some satay powder stuff from the stalls. Bought 1 showbag- Warheads (those really sour lollies) and we still haven't really touched it. Ate churros, had some ice cream, bought some Taiwanese chicken (yumm) so basically spent a lot on food >_<

I don't regret it though, it was really nice to just have a day out and enjoy ourselves like that. Actually forgot it was school hols so there were plenty of kids around, especially a lot of young girls in clothes that really aren't for their age group... :/ But anywho, we ended our day just the way we started-more wood chopping, then we headed home ^_^ I don't really have anything else, hung out with a friend yesterday, bought a new pillow the day before that.. but I'm looking forward to the weekend :) Hanging out with friends, and yumcha on Sunday. Life is pretty good (excluding work.. I keep doing really well but then my rates fall back down :/) so I hope everything is good in everyone else's lives :)

I will blog tonight.

A couple of days ago, I actually wanted to rant on my blog as I was dealing with stuff that I just needed to let out and rant to no one in particular. To be honest, I don't really remember what kind of stuff I was so upset about. I remember thinking I had a perfect way of putting it into words but it's slipped my mind. It really just goes to show how caught up I get on the littlest things and that I really haven't matured at all. I wish I could start anew though. A fresh slate. My thoughts are always clouded and muddled up that I don't feel like I'm thinking about what I should be doing at the moment. I'm caught in that stupid routine; my own bubble that I just can't get out of. I've told so many people that I want to travel, but taking the next step is hard. To be honest, I feel like Jasper is holding me back a bit in that aspect, cos he doesn't feel the same need as I do, seeing as he's pretty much traveled all around the world and done all these things at such a young age. Now I sort of remember what I was upset about. It was pretty much how I was stuck in this rut, and that there is a chance of me not being able to experience all these things like traveling, clubbing, drinking etc at our age. People will grow out of it, and I haven't even done any of it yet still so I won't be able to experience it with anyone else. It's not like it's something I want to do, but it is something I want to at least experience. It's just like that time in school when everyone went to the formal, but I never went because I didn't want my parents to have to pay for something extra that wasn't necessary... I missed out on an experience that people still talk about today. I think I've held back too much cos I try to put other people first and it's really stopped me from enjoying life to the fullest. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently and maybe things would be a lot different from now.

Hi guysss. It's been a while again. ^^; I've been getting extremely lazy at this because I usually don't have anything interesting happening in my life so far. Everything has been fairly routine, although recently I'm trying to get started into knitting/crotchet again to make a blanket. It's getting fairly cold at night, it'd be nice to have an extra blanket on top of our bed. I'm just having problems finding a nice pattern that I'd be capable to do, and need to figure out what colours to use. I have leftover acrylic wool from the time I made a Dr Who scarf for a friend, and have just kind of been saving it up for an occasion like this I guess? Ha it's probably going to take me a year to finish it though I reckon. Yesterday caught up with Annie because she was in Melbourne, so ended up sorta double dating cos her boyfriend and mine tagged along. Ended up have lunch at the Jap place near Melbourne Central, was good, but so damn filling. I bit unfortunate that it was only a short meet up, next time should organise a badminton thing or something. Was going to suggest if they wanted to watch a movie, but wasn't sure what Jasper would think, cos I know he would have liked to go home and play his game >.> But after that I met up with some uni friends, because they were at Fed Square and had set up this stall for a market, so Jasper and I wanted to surprise them. It's a bit unfortunate that they didn't have much business, but it is understandable because their designs are quite out there, and I guess majority of people aren't used to things so different. Here's the website if you want to check it out: http://alyraandmilly.com/ Other than that, I've just been playing my 3DS (:3 should take a photo and show you how pretty it is <3) and watching Game of Thrones, One Piece and caught up with HIMYM. Well that's my short update for what's happening with me~ Hope to see any of you guys around ^_^

Overdue post

A long overdue post :S It's been more than a month since my last post. Well let me tell you, a lot has happened. So I've finally moved out for those of you who don't know, I live in Malvern with Jasper now :3 It's not the same as staying over at his place like last year... because it's our own space, I've become more responsible for the space we live in. But I guess it hasn't been all great... I mean, don't get me wrong, I love living here with him, but, you know, there will always be those moments when you just don't agree on things. Well we always talk it out in the end, but hopefully we'll find a permanent solution. Other than dealing with moving out, I've been working heaps too. Especially starting this week- up to this point, I used to work 4.30-8.30pm on most days of the week, whenever was available. But now I start at 1-8.30pm, so that means 7.5 hrs calling people up and mostly getting rejected or get their answering machine. Fun. Easy job, but so boring. BUT. Hopefully because of the increase in ours, it's equivalent to a full time job- I hopefully can go off centrelink money. I should be getting $24.44 per hour? Atm I'm a bit unclear about that, because I haven't been receiving payslips after changing my residential address. So not sure what's happening there. I'm just checking what's happening at parent's home and then I'll complain. Recently, starting this week actually, met a new guy at work. Admittedly, he is attractive, especially with an English accent... Well, he's been talking to me a bit since I started the shifts. Today we sat near each other, so we did talk a bit. Lol turns out he is a bit of a geek, watches anime and plays FF and KH. Hahah. When he found out I played them, he thought I was a lot cooler lol. And he then said that now I just gotta get your number. I did give it to him, but awkwardly I said, but just so you know, I have a boyfriend. >.> I have no idea how to bring stuff like that up without sounding like I'm being full of myself. But he said it was ok, he was just something holiday... I dunno, something to do with making the most of your holiday or something. As in making friends. Just so we're clear. But yeah, he's definitely a lot of fun to talk to at work ^^; A bit too distracting when he's talking and I'm supposed to be calling... but meh, I did pretty damn good getting 9-10 surveys done today? And we should be averaging one per hour? Yeah :P Tomorrow I'll have to ask if Jasper can get a job there, cos he needs a back up plan I think... man that'll be weird working with him in that sort of environment O.o

Just an update... So my job at ORC International wasn't as bad as I expected. I've only done two shifts, + the training week before and I got $320 for it ^___^ Not bad right? There were a few rude people here and there who answered, but majority of calls end up being an answering machine or people who aren't interested. I only managed to interview around 5-6 people in total? I'm hoping this isn't because of my own ability, but because I was calling people who weren't aware of the power outages. I'm a bit worried of getting someone who is willing to participate in a survey, but they just kind of get carried away. And I've tried to move it along, but they kinda keep going. I know the supervisor told us to tell them that we have to keep moving things along but.. T__T I don't want to be rude, and what if they hang up on me? Anyway, I don't really care for working in a call centre too much... I wish the breaks were longer, I only get 5min per each hour. So I can combine them, but still it isn't that long when it all adds up. Next week is going to be BUSY. Jasper is coming back, we have to organise stuff for moving out, I have to go to centrelink for a meeting, I need to find another 10 jobs by Thursday for reporting day, I have to get Lucy's animation brief for me done asap, work on Friday and Saturday... T____T I also want to be able to have two days after Jasper comes back to celebrate Valentines and his birthday/christmas that I missed out on. So much to think about/do. I've been working on Lucy's animation all morning so far, excluding this time for blogging. When I asked her to check it out, she said she wanted the tree to be more flowy and that she wanted the leaves to grow out of the tree. ?!?!? That wasn't in the brief T___T So now I've got more work load for that. Sigh. 3 more sleeps! Can't wait!! I plan to pick Jasper up at the airport~ He won't be surprised cos I already told him, but it's the thought that counts. ^___^ YAY!!! Sorry this entry has been slightly coherent, I'm freaking out just a tad. >.>

Jobs jobs jobs

Can I say, I'm slightly frustrated. Jobs. This week has been crazy. Monday, went to two job interviews- first one was for door knocking to give people power boards. It's a fairly good deal- $14 bucks or so per power board you give to each household- 4 being the maximum you can give. They have to have things connected to the tv before you can give one out though. But yes, you could make up to 1000 or more per week if you got really good at it. The job interview after that, I arrived just on time, but considered it late cos I was running late from the other interview cos the guy didn't turn up till half an hour later. But yes anyway, I arrived at the company, and had an interview with this lady called Lee- I wasn't prepared. >.> I didn't know anything about the company or what they do... I only applied cos my friend told me to pass my resume onto one of her friends who work there... I should have asked what the name of the company was XD But yes I didn't.. not that it mattered cos I still got to attend training, which I did today. But just as I was finishing up my interview, someone was calling. I later found out it was from a place called Roll'd, a vietnamese restaurant, which I also applied for. Sighhh. And I received a text from gumtree that I had been approved for some other job- administrative assistant at some place. And I also got another call the next day from someone, but before I could let them speak, I declined straight out because I already had two training sessions to go to this week. Except.. Well I ended up canceling the door knocking one, because the other job (a marketing researcher job btw) would involve shifts that would probably clash with it, and the door knocking job requires you to do 3-4 hrs per day I think? So it would have been a bit hard to figure out how to work the times in together... I think.. I hope the job I chose would be better in the long run. The pay is pretty good- $20.05 as a trainee, which you can only do 50 hrs max before you move onto standard rate, which is $24 something. I guess it's more of just the hours you get to work.. the only reason why they're hiring is because they have a big project coming up. But oh god the training. So tiring. It wasn't so much what we did, but more of what we had to listen to. The guy talked SO MUCH. That's skills. He had to, so he couldn't help it. But wow. There's quite a bit of info as well, I have to go over a few booklets, and hopefully I'll have everything down by next week when I go back. T___T I'm a bit worried though, theory seems fine I guess, but practical.. I might just freak out and not know what to do. I don't even really like talking on the phone because I find it hard to hear people sometimes... Gulp. Well hopefully it should be fine, just follow the script and everything should be fine... But I can't wait till I move on and get a full time job in design somehow. Something I'm more familiar with. How I long for it T_T As long as I don't get stuck in this job for the rest of my life, that'll be good ^^;

Heh. So me writing up once per week didn't really last xD yet again. Commitment issues? I just keep forgetting to do it. Sigh. So lately, nothing has really been going on. Two parties, Sureka's and Kathryn's- both were fun. ^^ Both parties I froze. Brrr. Honestly I don't really have anything much to say... I guess I'll be handing in the tenancy form today at the apartment inspection? The bloody agent is so hard to contact I swear. I've called her mobile number and phone line number, as well as emailed her- no reply. I only managed to get in contact with her yesterday, despite me trying to contact her nearly a whole week ago. Jasper's dad said that she should get fired :/ I kinda agree. You'd think it'd be a requirement to regularly check emails and answer them. :/ Unimpressed. Well hopefully the application will get through, and Jasper and I will have a place! So what else... Hmm been thinking I want to get my hair trimmed. Cos I want to grow it longer. But I find it hard to justify 20 bucks for just a trim :/ I wish I could trim my own hair T_T But I can't see the back of my head very well and reach it. It's pretty fun cutting hair xD Did it once for my gran cos I think she tried to cut her hair before she went back to China? But yeah, she looked horrible. So I tried and gave her a better cut, or that is what I like to think. I really should start getting in control with my money again. I admit I have a bit of an addiction to online shopping ><" I don't really buy expensive things though. Mainly a lot of cheap stuff, usually under 10 bucks if I can help it. Except when it comes to games and stuff of course. Also bought an expensive bag for Jasper on Urban Outfitters, although luckily I got it during sale time, so it was only $50.15 (I think?) reduced from $70 (something along those lines). Not only that, but being just over $50 made me eligible for free shipping ^__^ Score! I also got him a spinner ring, with engraving. Gah that annoyed me. I received it, only to find that they got it wrong. It was meant to say " Mei♥ " but instead it said " Mei? " -.-" Bloody question mark. I'm going to see if I can get my friend to help me fix that, cos she's in jewelry and helped Jasper engrave my ring he gave me. But really, question mark? You would have thought that the person would have sent a message to make sure considering that sounds ridiculous :/ Oh well. Today I shall start putting together a folio T____T Reality.

Can I just say that I have the sweetest boyfriend? <3 So silly <3 You know what he did? He bought me a bloody 3ds x'D He just told me a few minutes ago. I told him before that I didn't want him to waste his money on me like that, I'd rather have him save up his money for us when we move out and stuff, when we get a job and are capable of splurging... the silly goose ><" I was surprised that's for sure. But he didn't really know enough about the 3ds, that he didn't know it was region locked. So I wouldn't be able to play my KH3ds game I bought a few weeks ago. I felt so bad when I said that T^T But I said that I could just sell my game and buy a NTSC version instead, and keep the AR cards inside the PAL version :P He really wants to spoil me silly ^_^; I feel like I don't deserve all this special treatment.. On so many occasions he has been willing to do things for me <3 I mean, he was even willing to spend his savings to have me come to America with him T^T As much I would have loved to, I can't let him do that. And he's willing to pay for my rent if I don't have a job and said that he didn't want me to use my savings TT^TT Whyyyy does he have to be so sweet T^T Well I have 20 or so days to decide whether I want him to return it or not, so I don't know. Cos he said he'd just buy me a PAL one instead despite me saying he shouldn't buy it at allT^T