I hate my life right now and I wish I could just get away from everything... Why does everything keep happening to me

Things are slowly starting to pick up- today I did a lil bit of shopping- bought some fake ugg boots to keep my feet warm while I'm around the house. For those who have been to my house, know how much of a death trap it can be. So my feet are doing well tonight heheh :P also took the heater so I have some heat in my room wooot ><" Hm also bought a cheap keyboard so I can use while I'm in Windows. It gets confusing sometimes using a Mac keyboard in Windows mode, so I had to get a keyboard for it. Bonus side though is that I get all the rest of the keys that the Mac one doesn't have. I got the stupid shortened version of the Mac keyboard when it came with the Mac. Also bought some sugar, loads of chocolate (sooo bad but sooo gooood), and butter. Was planning on making brownies today but I'm feeling a bit slack right now so dunno if I'll still make them.
Tomorrow is gonna be exciting ^___^ Dad's back~~~!!!!! YESSSSS!!!! This is exciting for many reasons:
1. I miss him
2. Grandma will be leaving soon I think?
3. Clothes~! ><" Hahaha
But I'm going to be really happy that he's back tomorrow. Except I'm pretty busy tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be able to make some time for him during the day :/
Cos tomorrow is the 19th so it's been two months with Jasper, so we'll go and have lunch together I think. I feel a bit bad cos he won't really be able to see me much this week... he's constantly reminding me and making me feel bad that I don't see him enough ^^; Which I personally think I do but ^^; Also got Devo's thing cos I won't be able to make it on Friday... I should probably tell family that too cos they probably expect me to stay and have dinner to celebrate dad being back :/ Mum's fault for getting the date wrong. Originally I thought he'd be back today but that wasn't the case. Oh well. Plenty of time to spend over the hols with family.
Actually, today I was thinking of telling my mum about me and Jasper... Just trying to find the right moment though ^^; I thought it might be easier if I just told mum and she could spread the word so I don't have to tell dad. Technically it would probably be easier to tell dad but.. hmm. Well I'll see how things pan out tonight. Well isn't this exciting.... ><"

It's over

YAY! I'm finally free! The semester concludes! Wooooot! Sorry for being MIA for the last week- I've been sleeping over at friends' house because of uni T_T It's been great, loads of fun- but when it got down to business, so stressful. Because I hadn't touched any of the php stuff when we were taught it, so I had no idea how put all my html into php. So thank god I had my friends help with that. After that, majority of it was fairly simple- except for a few things here and there but meh. I didn't achieve everything I wanted to- could not be stuffed making the form look pretty so it was all on the same page... I really should have made a few more pages for separate content and such but.. I got really lazy by the end of it all. I think overall, I still did a commendable job though- so I'm bound to get a C/D for it at least. HD is a big ask but who knows (<- secretly hoping but reality there is no way). Had to do a rough cd cover for my submission as well because apparently we need one... got a text around 4am last night from Jasper saying that we needed one... T____T So I was really tired.
Didn't really get to celebrate with everyone at the end of submission which is sad cos we usually do... we all went our separate ways after that. Got a lift home from Arend which was good. We stopped by Maccas :P Hahaha I've gained a few kilos I think with the week from overeating/snacking. Time to get fit again...>.> But yes... I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! Next week is pretty busy- but after that I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee again. Hahaha. Well I hope I'll get to see most people over the break so feel free to contact me :P Seeeeya.

So I'm pretty sure I won't be able to make it to Devo's now T_____T So Em- I won't be able to get the 3ds from Ema. That week though- seems like it's going to be busy :S things might change though so that'll be good. Anyways. YES FINISHED MY STUPID PROJECT. It's really crap.

*few hours later*
Lol I got really distracted xD Was organising this anime sleepover thing. Well. Suffice to say, we didn't get very far. I also just finished my documentation! SWEET! So tomorrow I can go get that printed out, then head to uni and hand in my final... then have lunch with Jasper, Arend and Tarn.. Hopefully. ^____^ I'm getting slightly excited now though because I've just got one more assignment to do now!!!!! WEBSITE DX

Oh yeah and to continue on from what I said before- my video is crap. I'm hoping in the eyes of my teacher, it's like some sort of artistic crap that will do well... but when I showed other people they have no clue what's going on. Sighh. Well I re-edited it, but it still probably doesn't make as much sense. Hopefully the teacher will be able to fill in the blanks. He said he's good at that. Lol. Well hopefully he gets what I'm trying to pull off... cos I'm not 100% sure either xD Wish me luck~! I get to collect it on Friday so hopefully it'll get marked by then :S

Heheh just made it :P Kinda forgot about updating. ^^; Went to Jasper's two days ago, which is why I didn't post on Thursday ^^; I went to uni to get some work done- not that I didn't have the program or anything, but that way I could ask for Jasper's help (｡･｀ω´･｡) We ended up watching Scream ^^; I thought it was meant to be a scary movie, but it really wasn't ><" Rather funny actually. Don't think we did much besides talk and watch movies.. hmm. Oh I washed the dishes though because it's something that's always bugged me >.> Jasper and Seb are always fighting over the dishes =__=" It's such a small thing yet I always hear them yelling about it over Skype. So eventually I got my vid done, although I'm not satisfied with it so I'm working on it right now. I don't even know where I'm going with this... it's really hard to find the right kind of footage. What my idea was to find footage from movies/shows etc and compile them into a short clip. What I'm having trouble with is expressing my idea... beauty vs disease... I'm not sure if people's initial reaction would be those two topics. Well maybe beauty, but not so much disease. I mean, I've got people blowing up and stuff but that doesn't explain how it relates to disease. Well I'll have to upload it later and maybe it'll make sense. Probably won't keep it up for long cos of copyright issues and stuff >.> Cos it's just a uni project, the teacher said it didn't matter to source anything (sweeeet), but I couldn't put this into anything if I wanted to. Not that I would want to because this is turning out crap. Oh well. I'm sure I'll get a C at least...

Too tired to post something tonight.. Will post something tomorrow I promise ^^; Now off to bed to read Narnia!

Oh god I'm slowly falling behind T___T I'm starting to get a bit worried now... save me Jeebus!

Sorry for extremely long post last time- honestly didn't think it would be that long. And sorry for missing out a post yesterday... wasn't in a really good mood. I think things are finally starting to hit me- not sure if I have enough time to do my homework at the rate I'm going, so I'm a little worried because I still haven't finalised on what I want to do... Some other personal problems which I won't go into right now...

This morning I woke up at 8.20, hoping to get some work done and everything... well that failed epically. Ended up lying in bed till 9.30 and fell back asleep... woke up to a text from Jasper around 12pm ^^; So I slept for pretty much half a day. Whoops. But an upside to that is that I had one of my wacky dreams again! It's been a while. This is basically what I typed to Jasper because I will most likely forget details...

" I remember I was a ghost of some sort. Or one of the main characters in my dream was a ghost. For some reason, all these kids were locked up in some place, in a barren land. Some guy on a truck arrives. He's part of the guys who locked the children up, but ends up betraying them because he helps set free some girls. So he pretended he was taking the girls somewhere in the truck, but he actually releases them just beyond the fence. Then some sort of emergency happens in the facility where all the kids are kept captive. Then I don't remember some details after this... But I remember the guy had to go find a phone charger within a pile of rubbish with the help from the ghost. The ghost initially tried making contact with the guy, but the guy couldn't see it.. The ghost tried moving objects and things which shocked the guy but eventually he got over it...
I think it was a competition of some sort because I recall seeing a tv which showed various people paired into groups..."

That's more or less how I remember my dream.. it was quite exciting really. I wonder what lead me to thinking up something like that?

Freak out

I'm a little annoyed that I have two parties on the same day now =/ I thought it would be fine at first, assuming that I arrived a bit later for one of them. But, Jack said no, arrivals should be around 7-8pm cos he doesn't want people to arrive during the speeches :S And Devo's party starts at 7:30pm... so it's a really, really tight squeeze T___T Devo if you're reading this, I don't know if you got my messages, but if not I'll send you a fb message then.. But any chance of me arriving a bit earlier before 7:30? I think at this rate, I'll probably literally only stay for a few minutes because it'll take around half an hour to get to the other venue, assuming that I can convince my dad to take me to them (he comes back from China that very week, so lucky if he's willing!), otherwise it'd take me an hour and a half to get to the other venue by public transport, and that would be a big ask to travel at night in formal wear >.> I'm thinking of using cheesecake as a bribe for my dad if he's not willing to take me ^^; I swear, I always feel like I have to bribe my family somehow because they never seem to be willing to do anything for me T____T If Lucy asks for a ride, she gets one, when I ask, it's always mehhhh or annoyed looks. Seriously don't get that.
I don't want to miss anyone's birthday party this year as this year is full of 21st birthdays. If only the timing was better... Really don't want to only end up staying at Devo's party for just 5 mins though.. cos that's just sad. I mean, I've known her for longer than Jack, so really, Devo should take more priority... But Jack was sort of there at the end of last year, being a good friend when I was talking about Tristan (the guy who confessed to me over skype..) and then I found out this year that Jack also had a crush on me, only holding back because of Tristan... So I kind of want to be there because we've sort of become a bit distant ever since he found out I was going out with Jasper :/
Anyway, that's one of my main things I've been worrying about because I'm not 100% sure how to solve it yet :S Another thing is my assignments... I *still* haven't gotten down to business. Well not really. Ever since Tuesday's class, I haven't done anything. I tried this morning, tried looking for an artist's video my teacher suggested, but could not find it anywhere on the internet =/ Only managed to find snippets of it, but the main focus was on the curators who were discussing the work T_T So I'll have to figure my own interpretation of it, because I want to base my final outcome on it. Which is kind of weak, because I have nothing to go on, just making it up as I go along. I still haven't done enough research for it... good thing is that the teacher said we didn't have to annotate it, which is great ^____^ So I guess I'll just find a bunch of images and collage them a bit... probably need a good 10 or more pages..? Not sure because this folio is worth 100%... And maybe organise the images and stuff so it makes sense, sort of flows so you can see how I ended up with my outcome. Hmmmm. I really suck at this kind of stuff >.> Should be used to it by now, after doing years of folios. Website... Hmm let me go make a screenshot for you so you can see what I have at the moment.

That's my homepage. I still have to fix the green cos teacher didn't agree with it >.> I may have suggested that myself so the teacher also felt the need for me to change it.. damn it. It's been an impossible task to find a good green :/ He said that if I couldn't find a good green, go for something else. Like a blue. Ew no. That would look a bit strange if you ask me. Anyway, I've still got a lot of work to do.. I need to put everything I already have into wordpress somehow, so that the client can add posts and everything, and my style sheet will do the rest in organising the content and whatnot. I still have to design a few of the other pages, and add a donate page, include breadcrumbs and some other stuff that I think will make my head explode T____T Damn Mark asdfja;lkdlan ;ioawv'oe iowweof!?! You know what he said? I think he said that if we don't use wordpress, the highest mark you can get is a distinction T____T Which suckkksss cos making a normal site can be pretty hard in itself if you don't know what you're doing ( me TT____TT)
I really don't want to end up relying on Arend to help me for the website too much, cos I need to be more independent again with my learning and take more initiative in my own education. Cos you know, people aren't as nice in the real world and all >.> Hmmm. Well I've sort of made a plan for tomorrow. Get up at 8.30 am (So I need to sleep before 12 tonight! No exception!) Eat breakfast while watching something short... do some exercise (I've skipped about half a week T_T so might do a full hour to make up for it..). Should be around 10-11am around then, so I will start work. Soo... look for videos that I could use (videos of bodies or stuff exploding... diseases..zombies? Hmm not sure yet.) Find a few more images, and start to organise them better in my document. Rewrite the essay thing at the start for the documentation, make it longer so it looks like I've really thought about it ><" Ermm let's see what else... If I'm not bored of this assignment, I'll probably start cutting up collected videos and selecting parts of footage I want. After that, I reckon I'll finish off my documentation for my second brief for my other class. So that means more research, and maybe sneak in a few more sketches or something. Hopefully by the end of tomorrow, I will have already finished one my projects completely, allowing me to fully focus on the other two assignments. Ok so now I think I will try and conquer a few more chapters in Narnia before I go to bed in an hour or so. ^^; Long post is long ^^;

Sorry for the late post~! Wasn't expecting to stay another night at my friend's.^^; Ended up getting late and I really couldn't be bothered getting changed and stuff, so they let me stay over an extra day ><" Hahah I love how their parents don't even care about it. Generally I would have thought parents would hate people coming over (at least my parents seem to), but no, instead they welcome it >_<
So got picked up by my friend, Arend's mum. Was a little afraid of awkward silence, but that was alright. Lol didn't say her name cos I have no idea how to pronounce it. Anneke. >.> But yeah, she has a lot to talk about ^^; Hmm so ended up watching things really throughout the night.. Summer wars in English, watched some of Heston's Feast (wowwww), um.. new zealand's top model, glee, avatar last airbender, running man... hmm I think that's about it? This was over the two days mind you. Ate indian the first night which was nice, and yesterday, had a Dutch meal- brussel sprouts, potatoes, and some pork, apple sauce of some kind... Yeah. Hmm I think I still prefer asian food over it though >.> Can taste a bit bland.
So yeah, it was just four of us, Tarn (my bestie at uni), Arend- her boyfriend but also classmate, Jasper, and I. It was nice spending time with just them, but I've always liked it when it was the bigger group, cos it's a lot more rowdier ^^; I like it when there's just a whole lot of us just being silly xD Well there's probably going to be a whole lot of opportunities for that over the hols.. gotta make sure I put more effort into spending time with you guys though. I feel like I've really neglected you guys a lot >.>

Oh yeah so the sister situation... hmm I don't know yet. I just got back half an hour ago or so, Lucy's not back so she hasn't done any of the nudging and winking stuff, Rebecca... well she hasn't mentioned anything..See, I eventually told mum that I was staying over at a guy's place (she asked if it was a girl's and I was like no... then she made a face..>.> sighhh) so I made sure to reassure her it'd be fine, telling her that I've been to his before heaps of time, and that there were other people there as well. That seem to work a bit... I don't think my sisters mentioned me having a boyfriend just yet, but I could be very wrong.. cos I was thinking the other day that my sister's would probably assume I was staying over at Jasper's or something cos I never mentioned the sleepover to them, and the fact that I stayed over an extra night might give them the wrong impression or something. >.> So then they'd go blabbing to parents or something. Well they can't do anything about it >.>
Oh lol just before, my grandma just asked if I stayed at a girl's house, and I was like no... and she said, 'oh that boy probably likes you' (Arend), but I said no, he's my friend's boyfriend...And then she said " good, it's probably be a good thing, westerners should be with westerners..." sighhhhhh...