Monday, March 28, 2011
2 more weeks
So sorry for leaving maybe a somewhat depressing post? I'm over it now so it's meh. Maybe you know I'm talking about? Probably not, if you weren't part of junior school. Anywho...
So. What did I actually want to talk about? Hmm firstly I'll just list the stuff I have to do for next week (ignore this):
- Jap BBQ test 3
- Splash animation, GUI Navigation page(?)
- Screenplay (wk 7 but try to get a head start)
- Ident (Die you stupid filming thing... Film wednesday, get friend to substitute, write script up by tomorrow night, edit Friday)
Unrelated to uni
- finish cross stitching by next month ( probably unlikely, but probably 3/4?)
- finish BBS (vanitas' lingering spirit, plus some unknown boss)
- start dissidia 1+2/pokemon/coded/that other game that I can't remember
- downloading the rest of inuyasha (probs 50 or so eps to go?)
- design my shelf thing, get rid of shelf thing, set up mac.
I think that's all I have for now to worry about? I'm a little bit worried about my lack of action script knowledge; despite learning it for more than 2 years (if you count the time at school), I still barely have a grasp on action scripting. It is logical, but then when you actually put it to use, I have no clue as to where specific parts of coding go. If I had to score my knowledge, I'd say I know about 25-35%? Maybe I'm exaggerating, but when it comes to doing my own thing, I can't do it. It's so much easier to follow the steps provided in tutorials that I usually don't take it in :/
Recently, I've cleaned out my shelf on my desk from all it's books and toys to make way for some room. My dad made this shelf years ago and stuck it to my desk, which has been useful, but takes a bit too much of my desk space that I feel compelled to work on my bed all the time(which actually means no work at all). So I'm trying to you know, get organised and stuff. So all my things are stacked everywhere; in my cupboard, in a cardboard box, on top of the cardboard box etc. XD I was thinking that what if I ended up moving out sometime in the near future? All of this redecorating (well attempt to) will be for nothing. Oh that is such a scary thought. Moving out. Eep.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
A bad incident
In Year 5, I moved schools. There was this girl who recognised me and told me that we went to the same kindergarten. I was surprised as I had no recollection, but later found out that it was true. We became friends after that.
In year 6, we were required to perform in groups for our Year 6 Camp; a song, skit or an act. I had no clue what my friends and I were going to do so I thought it would be fine if I just let it be for now. Probably after a week or so, we were in the library discussing with various people about what they planned to do for the performance. Then one of my friends mentioned that they planned to do a dance. I was confused- how come I didn’t hear any of this? I thought as a friend, wouldn’t they have discussed this with me beforehand? As the conversation went on, I realised that this performance didn’t include me. I was shocked and upset; days spent hanging out together on the green grass, sitting on the doorstep of the library talking about nothing in particular; did that all mean nothing? As the class ended, I hastily headed back to the Year 6 Centre, trying to hold back tears and thinking “was it so wrong for me to assume that my friends would include me?”
We were in the library, discussing what we were going to perform for our Year 6 camp. I could feel the excitement building up beneath my skin, just the thought of what I had in mind excited me. My friends and I decided that we were going to perform a dance to a Britney song. We have it all figured out, we just need to organise some costumes and get the dance done and we’ll be set.
Oh someone just finished talking; maybe I should say what we have planned. I look to my left, Nat’s sitting there. She smiles. Across the table, Mei’s looking a bit shocked. What’s wrong with her? Well it doesn’t matter right now; I haven’t finished talking about our dance. Mei interjects why she didn’t know about this. Er, maybe because she didn’t ask? She looks a bit teary now. What, did I say something I shouldn’t have?
Sunday, March 20, 2011
China Post
Still in Hong Kong, the rest of the family came down to stay. This meant adjusting who sleeps where at who's house. Unfortunately I was the one who got kicked out and had to live at my younger aunt's place with my grandma. In terms of people to living space, I guess I had it better, but it was less lively because this side of the family is a lot quieter. Well, at least when my aunt isn't being like my grandma. Just saying, all of my aunts take after my grandma, so they're really good at nagging. Especially the oldest one. She can nag like there's no tomorrow. And she ends up saying the same stuff again and again...
We decided against going to Disneyland because of how expensive it was, and apparently really childish. So we went to Ocean Park instead. Pretty good overall. The escalators were fun :D They're like the one's in Parliament except a lot longer. And you can see the sea from there. I went on two rollercoaster rides, the second one not so keen because it looked scary (managed to get a whole HP series out of that :P) but really wasn't too bad. Still I felt a bit dizzy because I can't really handle too much thrill (Sad I know). I suck at most rides actually. Anything that requires spinning clockwise or anticlockwise. Going upside down is fine though. Like, I'm good with the Alibaba in Luna park.
I'm not sure if I mentioned this, but my sis and I went to a book fair with my uncle. We had to travel into the city (by ferry) to get there. Really good because everything was soo much cheaper. I bought heaps of books, although I would have liked to buy more, but it wouldn't be very good to spend a fortune when your uncle is paying =.=" One good thing about hong kong is that it's so english orientated. Of course there were plenty of chinese books, but still, helps knowing that it's not all completely foreign to me.
We went back to Guangzhou after a week in HK, preparing for our next destination- Shanghai.
Took a plane, arrived at the airport, was picked up by my uncle. I thought it would be extremely cold, except it wasn't that bad. Probably because the airport was stuffy, but I welcomed the cold air. We headed back to my uncle's place, which took 2 bloody long hours. Seriously. Traffic was horrendous. I fell asleep for a little while because it was so tiring just sitting in the car. When we got there, everything looked really familiar, but also a bit smaller than I remember.
The next day, we had dumplings and shanghai buns for breakfast- sooooo very very good. You must try them if you ever go to Shanghai. Actually, just eat anything in Shanghai, it's all so good.
One thing I didn't like in Shanghai was sleeping. We were staying in our grandparents room (my sisters and I), so we had to share the double sized bed with all three of us. So very cramped. We had to put up with each other for a few weeks! And it got cold and the covers weren't warm enough, even with the heater on. And then we'd wake up early in the morning coz our grandpa would always go down and buy something for our breakfast. He's so adorable though! >3< He kinda shuffles when he walks because he's got bad legs, and he sometimes speak random phrases of canto or english XD I really do miss my grandparents on my dad's side. They're a lot nicer, probably because they don't deal with us all the time, but the only problem is communication. I really hated when I couldn't communicate with them. They only speak Shanghainese, can't even speak Mandarin really, so more than half the time, I don't know what they're talking about :(
I'll leave it there for today. Just one more thing- Grandma is coming back today. I'm not happy or sad, I'm just going to miss the quiet days where I'm by myself at home. Now I have to say where I'm going if I'm going out, or telling me that I should eat breakfast, although usually I don't bother when I'm at home all day. Just those little things. I'm going to try and stay on her good side; she is getting old, and she might be going back to China next year.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I still have to draw up a butt load of screenshots/storyboards of each page that will be found in the game, and describe what's going to be on it and who knows what else; I'm actually making a lot of this up as I go along, which I don't think is such a good idea considering that I have to make this later. Glad that I have friends in programming, but not sure if I can even make it past this.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Right now I should be writing up a design specification for a whack a mole game that's due this Friday, and I've barely begun. I don't know what my theme should be. I've settled for the player throwing/feeding something at the thing/person/object except I don't know what these things/person/object is/are. And I think this subject has somewhat assumed that majority of the people have some sort of experience with coding despite that it's only the beginner level for this class. I'm honestly thinking that I'm not going to even be able to finish the game judging by all the requirements- how do I even go about this?? It's not like they give you the code to make the game. And you have to make it different and stuff. Why do I have to be creative in some IT class??
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I hope
Also, I recently looked up the 'word' orz. Lol. Apparently it's meant to represent a man keeling over. I can totally see that. XD Awesome.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Anyway. Yesterday, I finished Jap class, so my friend and I headed to the library so we could work on BBS XD Haha that's what I do in my spare time XD Jk. But sometimes seriously. He needed help with Terra for the last battle in the mirage arena, and I needed help with all 3 of them in the last battle for mirage arena, and also Ice cream beat. I'm telling you, getting a score of fantastic for all 5 songs is HARD =_=" I only scored enough to get them to the master round but could not go any further. Thank god he is an expert button masher as well as the rhythm game in general, or else I won't be able to complete my journal. He only did it for Terra, which was good enough for me.
Eventually I said he could take a break coz it's pretty intense. Which led to talking. As per usual, I'm usually the one who ends up listening, which was kinda weird this time. He was having a lot of trouble with the president of the anime club at our uni, who was being a lazy jerk who kept giving him more work to do as the vice president, while he just lazed about. I felt bad for him because this was also his friend, so it's kind of hard to tell your friend, you know? Apparently he and some others will try to get in touch with the MONSU (student union) to try to overthrow the president. This will ultimately lead to an end to a friendship, or a very very awkward friendship.
He also talked about this magazine, which is apparently pretty famous-ish(never heard of it) called animaverick or something. The founder went to my uni. He started the anime club here, which he kind of swindled money off sponsors. He used the money to create this magazine and was hush hush about the profit he made from the magazine. How dodgy. So Clayton still has this bad image of Caulfield, despite the fact that everything has changed since then. Even some sponsors are still a bit iffy about sponsoring our club. Also apparently, animaverick sponsors anicafe, so I don't think I'll be going there any time soon.
After that, it led to something a bit awkward for me. He told me he liked this girl, but she only thought of him as a friend. Actually I really probably shouldn't be spilling someone else's secrets like this, although chances of any of them coming across this blog is quite low... Well basically she only thought of him as a friend. She didn't actually feel close to anyone at uni (which I thought was weird, because she seems sort of active to me online anyway..). But during the holidays, I think they might have become closer friends, which is sort of good, although it might be harder on my friend if he still likes her. I think honestly, this is the first time anyone has told me something like that- I sort of feel like I'm violating their privacy by knowing so much, yet not actually knowing the real person behind the name.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Avoid reading if you don't want to be depressed
There are so many depressing memories in my life that it really makes me wonder how I've managed without confiding in anyone pretty much all my life. Which makes me think I'm really self centred all the time, because so many thoughts revolve around the past rather than what should matter. It kind of makes me worry about my assignment due on monday, which is basically a one minute flash animation of my life so far in text. I'd say I have quite a colourful life, in the sense that there have been a lot of things that have happened, except they really aren't appropriate for everyone in the art faculty to see (as these will be displayed on the tvs in the art buildings..), as they are quite personal. I don't think I would have minded too much if it were just the class, but does everyone need to know? I think I might have finally let go of this past. But it's not something I want everyone to know. I don't want people to judge. I'll just say it. Don't read further if you already feel uncomfortable as it is. Please don't treat me any differently, or feel the need to empathise with me. This is quite personal, so I'd prefer if you don't go around telling the everyone. It's just something I want to share with you guys, because I feel like I can finally move on with my life, and this is just something that I've always wanted to tell someone, anyone, but have been too afraid to tell.
When I was younger, I used to be abused as a kid. It's something that I've never told anyone, except that time on gaiaonline where I posted on my journal. It happened quite often I think, one reason why my grandma moved to Australia really. Even then I don't think it stopped, she would always recount these memories when we used to share a bedroom, how she always had to put ointment on all my bruises. I hated it when she used to tell me this. And all the other countless stories. Like how some father raped his kids. I was probably under 10 yrs old for gods' sake. I remember a few times when I used to get abused, they're quite vivid, although I might have made up bits and pieces. Even though my grandma came to Australia, it was really no different. At some point, they brought in this stick- basically a thick enough stick that can hit you so that it leaves a mark. Grandma would sometimes use it. There were times where I used to run around the house trying to avoid it. Lucy would never get hit I think, she was special in a way because she had asthma, so usually it was always me who received the end of the stick. It all probably stopped in Grade 3/4 not too sure. But I still think there was some verbal abuse, as you probably judged from above.
Look, I don't blame my parents anymore, and I hope you won't judge them- this was all in the past. I admit, there have been a few times where I've thought to well... do something stupid, but I'd know I'd never do it, because it would be stupid. Honestly, I could probably go on and say more, but I don't think that would do any good. I just hope my parents realise how lucky they are for me not turning out to be a delinquent, and grateful for what I've managed to put up with. These are some of my darkest secrets I guess, but it just feels good to just say it, after bottling it up for so many years. And I'd appreciate it if you don't try to 'talk about my feelings' face to face, this is the best way for me to present my thoughts, so if you feel the need to say something, email me or something. Thank you for understanding and I hope this hasn't become a burden for you.
Monday, March 7, 2011
DL
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Day who knows what
So, one of the Sundays in Guangzhou, we went to a new shopping centre that was 10-20 min walk away at night. It's pretty massive, I'd say it's probably double or triple the size of Westfield? Plenty of shops, but honestly, not the kind of shops you'd really want to shop unless your rich. Fun to browse though.
We were there mainly to eat dinner as a going away for a while (we were leaving guangzhou to go to Hong kong the next day), so we decided on Korean after a while based on the lines of other restaurants. The food was pretty good, although some of them put me off when I found out what they were. Eg. Ox tongue. Eww. I always have this feeling that eating ox tongue would have a ..hmm how could you describe it..sort of bouncy, rubber like? I still don't really like it, but maybe if I were to just eat it without knowing...
There were also these mini pancake things that I really liked, but have no clue what they were called. Also, near the end, we ordered some sushi, which unfortunately had some wasabi in it. I, being oblivious to this knowledge, ate it whole, which resulted in coughing and spluttering after trying to drink some tea (which smells like popcorn and sorta tastes like it too... some speciality of Korea? Didn't like it though). I think there's a pic of us laughing, and my cousin spitting out food.. you'd have to Facebook it though coz I deleted the pics off my computer.
Anyway, the main thing that I was really interested in was that there were going to be some guests. Janet, you're probably going to kill me but- apparently jiro wang (TW), jacky cheung (HK), zhen ji wai (HK) etc. were going to be there, possibly to perform. Not too sure, because we ended up leaving before any of it. I'm pretty sure they were going to be there because there was such a large crowd near the concert area. I'm so sad :( The chance to see any of asia's famous people would have been cool. Well the next bit was just as awesome though- we went on one of those motorbikes that can seat 4 people- sorta like a carriage but on a motorbike. All of us kids sat on it, and we rode back to our place. It was awesome XDDDD So thrilling. There were hardly any cars, so I think the guy was having a little fun by swerving a bit, and going on bumps, we were squealing XD I'd love to go again!! I'm pretty sure it's illegal to take those rides, but they're so much fun!
====================
Arriving in HK after a few hour trip by catching the train, things get a little more busier around there. None of it looks familiar. Yet. We headed back up to my aunt's place, to be greeted by her husband. He looked no different from what I remember. When I entered their apartment, flashbacks of the place came flooding back. Except everything looked a lot smaller. And I mean a lot. 5 steps and you could reach the 'lounge room/kitchen'. Bathroom is just as compact. You go in, and you kinda have to stick to the sink to close the door, and there you have a toilet, and about a metre and a bit bath/shower. If you've been to my house, I'd say it's about the size of our rumpus room (the pool table) but maybe even smaller.
3rd or 4th day in HK
The day I got my haircut. Stood out again because my sis and I were talking in english again. I got my hair washed by this guy who was kinda short, and he started talking to me. Asked me if I've had my hair cut here before, and I'm like maybe (although that can't be true but you know), asked how old I was, apparently he was a year older or something, asked all this stuff, but the thing is, I can barely hear him. I don't know if it's me going deaf from listening to my music all the time, or him talking in a small voice, or him washing my hair; I can barely hear anything. I hate it when they feel the need to fill in the void of silence by creating small talk; it's rather uncomfortable talking to someone while you're lying down, with your head sorta strained to keep it level against the rest of your body, and someone is washing your hair. Maybe it's just me. Oh did I mention this was my second time ever going to a hairdresser? My first time was in China too XD
Anyway I digress. So, I had my hair cut, which was short and straight. It looked pretty hideous, and I looked more like my mum than ever. So it was decided that I was going to get it permed. I don't know if it was worth the wait though- getting your hair permed takes forever -..-" Took more than an hour, had stuff squirted in my hair, it was getting in my nose, and then I was chucked under that hair steamer thingy, and my coz and my sis were taking photos of me secretly. D: I wouldn't have mind if it weren't the fact that I looked quite unflattering at that point, so naturally I tried to hide my face. Evil cousin. He's actually quite awesome, he's so easy to get along with. He's kinda short though because of all the medication he had as a kid stunted his growth, and he has these funny sideburns now XD And it always helps when he tries to speak english, although I'd prefer canto because he still had an accent.
Anyway I digress again. So when I finally had all of that finished, I was satisfied, except for my fringe. That bloody hairdresser cut my left side of my fringe wayyyy too short that you couldn't even push it to the side. I wish I'd figure it out earlier, but I realised that I could push my fringe back the other way -..-"
Dear god this is getting long... ok I'll just leave it at that today then. Sumimasen. Jya, mata ne!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
405th Post
And I really need to figure out what I'm going to do with my 4 hr break. I feel bad if I leave my friend who has a 2hr break, to go into the city and maybe head to the shop or something. But then I'm left with 2hrs of nothing after that. Honestly, monash has got to be the most inconveniently placed uni ever. Still, majority of the time, she tends to do her homework or something, so sometimes I feel like I end up tagging along with nothing to do:/ I'd do homework but.. well I never feel very productive during then. Suggestions please?