The Next Stop

A couple of days ago, I actually wanted to rant on my blog as I was dealing with stuff that I just needed to let out and rant to no one in particular. To be honest, I don't really remember what kind of stuff I was so upset about. I remember thinking I had a perfect way of putting it into words but it's slipped my mind. It really just goes to show how caught up I get on the littlest things and that I really haven't matured at all. I wish I could start anew though. A fresh slate. My thoughts are always clouded and muddled up that I don't feel like I'm thinking about what I should be doing at the moment. I'm caught in that stupid routine; my own bubble that I just can't get out of. I've told so many people that I want to travel, but taking the next step is hard. To be honest, I feel like Jasper is holding me back a bit in that aspect, cos he doesn't feel the same need as I do, seeing as he's pretty much traveled all around the world and done all these things at such a young age. Now I sort of remember what I was upset about. It was pretty much how I was stuck in this rut, and that there is a chance of me not being able to experience all these things like traveling, clubbing, drinking etc at our age. People will grow out of it, and I haven't even done any of it yet still so I won't be able to experience it with anyone else. It's not like it's something I want to do, but it is something I want to at least experience. It's just like that time in school when everyone went to the formal, but I never went because I didn't want my parents to have to pay for something extra that wasn't necessary... I missed out on an experience that people still talk about today. I think I've held back too much cos I try to put other people first and it's really stopped me from enjoying life to the fullest. I wish I could go back in time and do things differently and maybe things would be a lot different from now.