The Next Stop

Nearly been a month since my last post... I've just been dealing with a lot of family related stuff and it's kind of put me off talking to anyone really. It's hard to deal with so I've been trying to keep myself busy and staying over at other people's places to get away from it. Why do people take me for granted? As strong as I have been over the years, it's only going to be a matter of time before I can't take it all and just leave everything behind. Honestly feel like that could be the easiest option sometimes. But I don't want to be irresponsible so I'm going to do my best to get through this.
But I'm honestly considering moving out next year. The only problem is that I haven't figured out what I should do yet, so nothing is going to happen till I decide on that really. I envy those who still have a year of uni left; there's so much more I'd want to learn in my course... too bad it's only a 3 year course. There's always the option to study some more but I don't know. This would mean I'd know what I want to do and take it a step further. I still haven't researched any of the courses which I should if I do plan to study more. I'm thinking it unlikely though at this stage. I've never seen myself much of a business/career woman in the future. I have no passion in doing well in that sense. I like to learn, but who's going to pay you to learn? I want to be able to explore the world, the cultures, enjoy crafts... none of this would amount to anything substantial in a career sense. I know most people go through what I'm going through at the moment, but because it's personal this time, you realise how lost you feel. I wish people would stop asking what I plan to do next year, or remind me that this is my last semester though; I know so you don't have to keep telling me. I don't have a fucking clue okay. Why can't I enjoy the little freedom I'll have before I sign the rest of my life off to become part of the society? As our life expectancy grows higher, retirement age increases... We're going to have to spend more of our time to work our butts off just to support our lifestyle