Do I seem like the good girl type? When I think about it, I don't do alot of things that other people do. Drinking, smoking, partying, being able to drive, have a boyfriend, go out with friends all the timeetc.- these are the things that many people do, is it not? I'm not a conformist so I wouldn't do all those things because of peer pressure or anything, but sometimes I wonder what it would be like to do those things. It's the image of being an adult that draws me in. I get the impression that everyone around me seems to do this kinda of stuff and it kind of puts me off. I've never really been into that whole social scene because it all seems fake to me, and people just spend their time getting wasted and talk about nothing in particular. It's not like I don't get along with people, it's just that because I don't go out as much, I'm usually clueless about what's happening around me.
And another thing- I hate it when there are things that I don't know, like general knowledge or something, and I'm left embarassed because I never knew about it. It's not my fault that I never learnt that- I feel sometimes because of my background and being the oldest, I've missed out on alot of things in life. I've always felt responsible for everything around me, and I try to set a good example to my sisters (unfortunately, that has failed miserably), always anxious and worrying about every little thing despite appearing having no interest, and I take everything to heart even if it is said jokingly. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I feel like I'm on repeat, having repeated all these thoughts in my head for a long time..
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