Jokes

Just some jokes from a book at home...


"I told you to draw a picture of a acow eating grass," said the art teacher. "why have you handed in a blank sheet of paper?" "Because the cow ate all the grass, that's why there's no grass." "But what about the cow?" "There wasn't much point in hanging around when there was nothing to eaet, so she went back to the byre."

What do you call a snake that works for the government?
A civil serpent.

"And what's your name?" the school secretary asked a new boy. "Butter." "I hope your first name's not Roland,"smirked the secretary. "No, Miss. It's Brendan."

Aggie:"I've made the chicken soup."
Maggie: "Thank goodness! I thought it was for us!"

James:Is your new girlfriend good-looking?
Hamish:Yes, except for her pedestrian eyes.
James:What are pedestrian eyes?
Hamish:They look both ways before they cross.

man:I've come to ask for your daughter's hand.
Father: You'll have to take the rest of her too or the deal's off.

boy:Have you heard of the idiot who keeps saying no?
guy: No.

Chris: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Fliss: In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.

Susan was watching her big sister covering her face with cream. "What's that for?" she asked. "To make me beautiful," came the reply.Susan then watched in silence as her sister wiped her face clean. "Doesn't work, does it?"she said.

Boy:Grandpa, do you know how to croak?
Grandpa:No, I don't think so. Why?
Boy: Because daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do.


Some are so lame you can't help but laugh...>.<